Man I’ve been gone for long.
for the past month, i’ve become involved with someone i work with. it has started off with something as simple as grabbing a drink after work. It ultimately turned into a relationship. When we’re together, its like i dont have a care in the world, its complicated though, and when i say its complicated, i truly mean its complicated. I can’t explain it in my own words, just that when i say i know he wants to be with me, i know its because he really wants to be with me. I’ve never been with someone and 100% knew what their true intentions where until now. I’ve never met someone so honest and too the point to where i knew there were absolutely no games being played. it’s as simple as, if he didnt want to be hanging out with me, he wouldnt be there. Granted its definetly as simple as we’re are together. Then again what relationship is. Most people wouldnt be able to handle it. I on the other hand, am completely okay with it. If we’re being honest i purposley left my phone out tonight so a certain someone could see when you called, i want people to know, yes i dont care if the world thinks im this horrible person because of who im with. I dont care what people think, im happy, you make me so happy. The fact that i feel so comfortable with you. Im content with whatever “this” is. This will be finished as soon as i pick up dixie. And i also have a dog that im dog sitting puking all over my floor. bye.
30 Ways To Make Your 20s Better
1. Accept that you can’t please everybody, and then decide which select few opinions and feelings you value enough to try and satisfy.
2. Recognize that the grass always seems greener on the other side. Perhaps the grass you’re standing on just needs a little watering — it’s not necessarily where you’re at, so much as what you do there.
3. Don’t spend too much time on Instagram trying to decide if Hudson or Amaro is the more aesthetically pleasing effect on your picture.
4. Enjoy your journeys. Many times, the trip there is more gratifying than the arrival.
5. Make certain that you have some real friends who will tell you if you’re screwing up, regardless of whether you want to hear or not. “Yes men” will have you believing your sh-t don’t stink, but rest assured — it does.
6. Don’t allow your mood to be directly linked to your bank account balance.
7. Live as if you’re not going to make it to thirty. Too often we dread the big 3-0 instead of being grateful for the days we have now, and recognizing how fortunate we’d be to make it that far into the future.
8. If you get a text out of the blue that reads something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s been a long time” during the month of February, don’t answer. He/She just wants a Valentine.
9. If you get a text out of the blue that reads something along the lines of, “Hey, it’s been a long time” during the month of April, don’t answer. He/She just wants some of that tax return.
10. Don’t confuse the people who are often present with the people who are always there.
11. Make a legitimate effort to have too good of a time today to worry about tomorrow.
12. Remember that the answer to every question you don’t ask is ‘no,’ and start asking more often — no matter the context.
13. If your cable/satellite bill is $20 away from being a car payment, get the basic package. You don’t need that many channels. Take advantage of Hulu, Netflix, and illegal downloading.
14. Skip Black Friday, take advantage of Cyber Monday.
15. Try to keep in mind that while all good things must come to an end, so must the bad.
16. When eating finger foods, use the hell out of your dipping sauce, and don’t be bashful. It’s much better to be out of BBQ sauce and have chicken nuggets than vice versa.
17. Whether it’s big or small, always have something to look forward to. It’s essential to help you get through things.
18. If the world doesn’t end in 2012, make plans to kill it in 2013.
19. Buy sunglasses, Tylenol and Gatorade in advance when you know you’re going to get hammered.
20. If you have to contact a girl/guy first every-single-time, take the hint, cut the ties and keep it moving.
21. If you have to eat Top Ramen for monetary purposes, do so with the genuine belief that finances and cuisine quality will improve.
22. If you don’t have to eat Top Ramen, do it anyway to keep yourself humbled.
23. Spend more money on experiences and less on material things. (e.g. trip to Las Vegas takes precedence over new iPod.)
24. When you go to Vegas, take a minimum of three years off of your life with your actions.
25. Avoid reading comment sections on the internet, especially if you’re sensitive. You’ll lose all hope for civilization.
26. Avoid physical altercations at all costs. We’re too old for fighting — use your words. This isn’t grade school where rasslin’ got you sent to the principal’s office, you risk going to jail or worse.
27. Learn how to grocery shop if you want to be a real grown up. Only some store-brand products are acceptable to purchase — cheese isn’t one of them.
28. Lay off the current generation of teens. Yeah, they do a lot of annoying, preposterous, ridiculous sh-t, but so did we at that age.
29. Save money whenever it’s possible, because as soon as you think you’re ahead money-wise, something expensive will break.
30. Always listen and ruminate, but never make important decisions based off of advice from someone who isn’t going to have to face the consequences
Yeezy taught me.
I truly have insomnia.
Random nothings in my mind, watching romantic dramas which is the last thing i should be doing. Yet! im stuck here just watching like a fool. This past week has been hell..so many ups and downs, i dont know what to think anymore really. Going from last monday where i had one of the worst come downs of my life..(downside to an amazing EDC WEEKEND) to having an okay week, everything just seemed so blah. I’ve been in such a funk lately that i just cant seem to get out of. Living alone really puts being single into perspective. Me, Lauren as the person i am, is a very independent person. I’ve never had the issue of being single. When you come home everynight though to an empty place it starts to sink in. Lets not mention the 6 months i’ve gone without any sexual interactions. I know its by choice but i cant help but feel it deeper than most being at my place at nights alone. Well on to the rest of the week, my family life was a little rough due to my father losing his job. Something that hit me alot harder than i thought because of how it happened. It was unfair and unjust but there was absolutely nothing that could be done about it. Hung out with him for the weekend. Saturday night took a turn of events went and grabbed a drink with a friend..had some fun. Woke up sunday, very late due to the fact that i barely slept on saturday..took my dad out for a Fathers day dinner which was amazing. It opened my eyes to so much. If my father can get through this and be so positive about a situation i have no reason to be in this funk. I am 22 years old, have an amazing, my own place..and whatever empty feeling i have inside i will get through and it will be filled. Its not going to happen overnight..but eventually it will get filled, and i am going to be just as happy as i should be now. On to a different subject, i want a vacation…i dont want to say i need one, but i definitely want one. A beach would be nice, or maybe my favorite place like disneyland. I just want a little escape from reality. Im currently sitting on my couch after literally sleeping all day, made some homemade dinner :) watched a couple movies, and have been smoking hookah on my couch. Im perfectly content with how this nights gone, and i have no intentions of doing anything else.